Chi

            The prospect of reciting a poem or a song in front of a class is intimidating no matter how many times you have recited it perfectly alone.   In grade school about once every two months each student would have to go in front of the class and relay a poem from memory.  I always had the poem perfectly memorized and luckily got through it each time without problem, except for my hands sweating, insides trembling and voice a bit shakey.  Not only was that uncomfortable but I felt uncomfortable watching others recite as well.  When they couldn’t remember lines they had worked so hard to memorize it was heartbreaking to watch their frustration and disappointment ooze through their previously composed selves.  Teachers were understanding to a minimal extent: kids who did well in class and got flustered a bit were not met with disapproving help from the teachers with a word mid poem.  Anyone who goofed off a bit did not receive any support from the teacher, and when they needed help mid poem, received annoyed prompts.

            When the singers were asked to go to the center of the room today and sing alone for everyone, these memories rushed back.  I assumed my past audience stance of not making eye contact with the performer as to make them feel less on the spot.  But when the first mistake was made, my peer was told, “its okay look at the sheet, it’s the chi that matters” and then sung with as a duo so she could get back on track.  If kids in my grade school had been told this, I am positive they all would’ve done better.  It even affected me as an audience member.  For the first time ever in this kind of situation I felt comfortable making eye contact with the person reciting; I felt that my eye contact offered support and a safety net for them.  Put bluntly reciting from memory is hard.  Some people get more nervous than others and success of these kinds of performances should be measured by chi.  The energy, care, and effort in striving to reproduce something by memory is certainly more admirable than an unenthused, mechanical regurgitation.  Someone struggling for success when they have to reach so far out of their comfort zone deserves the respect given in our classroom.  Other classrooms too often only reward ones able to regurgitate, and even just typing that sentence, it’s clearly wrong. 

            So how can more environments become like ours?  I think it begins with professors and students being exposed and open to different styles of teaching.  As we learned in our first lecture, oral tradition allows knowledge to live within the person rather than on paper.  I know it will be a challenge because there are many people who aren’t open to alternative ways, but my goal after taking 334 is to pass on the knowledge and outlook I have now absorbed in hopes that it will motivate others to seek an opportunity for their own broadening.