Death as a Cultural Event

In these past couple of weeks our William & Mary community has had to come to terms with the death of a fellow student, and the events that have taken place concordantly. In class, we have discussed the cultural distinction in dealing with death and any other cultural or life event for that matter. Practiced rituals and standardized beliefs differ not only between cultures, but within a culture itself. This is self-evident based upon the culturally diverse melting pot America has become today. The occurrence has forced me to consider the event of death not only as private matter, one which adheres to more specified cultural values, but one of more communal and societal public observance as well.

In attempting to reconcile such a dichotomy between private and public life, it is almost inevitable that certain compromises must be made in regards to cultural events. In my own life, my family has dealt with death first in a very private matter. Grieving as an internal and nuclear unit not only allows us to cope in the most honest and natural way possible, but it creates even stronger bonds that are so necessary for the nuclear family to have. In this sense, death is a very private matter for us. Yes, we receive phone calls, emails, and general condolences from friends and community members, but the majority of the support comes from within our family. We recognize that this private matter must be extended to the greater community at some point though. We try to reconcile this, and I think society does in general, by melding private and public lives in the form of the funeral. Not only does it allow my family to continue the grieving process in a religious setting, but it invites members of the public to grieve with us within a space considered sacred to the family. When this done community members come back to our house and bring something that helps in the coping process, whether that be food or just emotional support. It seems as though the integration of private and public lives roots itself in primarily spatial forms. Simply put, common places such as the home or a religious institution allow for the simultaneous grievance of private and public entities.

In American culture, bringing death into a public realm allows for a communal family to be formed and recognized. The nuclear family is no longer responsible for all the pain-bearing. The pain is subsequently superceded onto the community. Here at school, the "one tribe, one family" statuses permeated facebook and served as a reminder that a deeper family and support system exists to rely on. This is the true beauty of it all. We quickly were reminded of the broader social and academic family that we hold a defining characteristic of the school after the event. It helps keep everything in perspective by forcing us to appreciate the close ties we have with one another. Although never depreciating the significance and tragic nature of the event, the broad community of support reminds us that there are few events that we cannot get through together.